A little peek

We recently got an email via Travis from the Rev. Matthias in Kabale.  He and his family are from Germany and they were our friends and mentors in Kabale.  He works closely with the university staff and students equipping and praying for missionaries and God's work around the world.  It was a deep pleasure to live with he and his family.  We were able to pray and support each other during those 3 years and overlapped several times.  It was so neat how God brought us all together and particularly catalytic was the Horizons conference that Global Teams came and administered last year.  From that conference, several local Ugandan leaders and participants have been able to meet and pray and encourage each other in what they learned there through Bible study, teaching and testimony.

We have heard there was a Ugandan wide national meeting, as well as an East African meeting last spring.  I have not been able to get details, but then this little peek came.

I am so struck how we had a little part to play in all of this.  In the end, it was not our job to stay and in fact, I think God can do more with our leaving as He is bringing people together in ways only he can do--at the university, there are so many people from different tribes, even from other countries--Rwanda, Burundi and Kabale is strategically located on the border of Rwanda and Congo.  

While we were there, there was a prayer and burden to go and live amongst the people in a neighboring town where there are Batwa and refugees from the Congo who need hope and encouragement as only Jesus can offer.  

So, the Ugandan church (and at least 2 denominations) is gathering and able to continue on what God has for them in this time!  The German family will not stay for too much longer, so it is really neat that all of these connections are strengthening and these relationships are forming and the mission movement can be truly Ugandan, even East African!  Very exciting.

Dear Travis, dear Kevin,

We had a wonderful time with the Batwa team that visited our University at the beginning of this month (I had some problems with my e-mail account therefore I couldn’t send this e-mail earlier).

Our students appreciated their ministry and those Batwas who were not able to write and read, were very glad of "ministering the Gospel in a University”. It might be the first time in World-History that a group of Batwas ministered at a University.

They had a good time with our Students and we ate lunch together. Safari (Travis knows this Mutwa) preached and finalized his sermon with the comment: “Formerly we were living in forests and people said we are smelling badly – but now we are preaching the Gospel at University” – And people were clapping and shouting. It was a wonderful time.

The first photo is Safari preaching, the second one is Rhona – giving a testimony, the third is the choir and the last photo is Gofrey – sharing about the developments among Batwas and calling people to help the Batwas in Kisoro town.

Yours in Christ

Matthias

More scattered thoughts as we resettle...

Another story on how unpredictable culture shock is.  We had a big bookcase that did not fit in our new house.  I loved this book case--one of our first full priced "adult" purchase... $100 from IKEA, not $25 from Salvation Army...so, sadly, it did not work and we had decided to donate furniture since we have been given so, so much.... Yea, Habitat for Humanity who picks up large bookcases.  Two African American guys come one morning and they moved that big beast all by themselves--I couldn't believe it.  The one guy was Andre the Giant size... for real--he was such a big fella.  Well, AFTER they moved this big piece (it's noteworthy b/c we have moved it a couple of times and it took a LOT of effort and sometimes with a LOT of people)... anyway, the Andre the Giant guy put a smaller piece of furniture on his shoulder and immediately it brought me to this image which was in Uganda when we left and we sold furniture to some neighbors--I just cried and cried.  It was a powerful connection--in the US, you don't see many people heist a piece of furniture on their shoulder and yet, it was a common sight in Uganda!!! Culture shock and sweet memory and grieving emerges...

This is a picture of the family who lived next to the Hines. Gideon is our priest at the Chapel where we attended church and pictured are three of his children, Andrew, Stephen and Winnie.  Andrew is wearing the funny hat, although we all took turns.  He was helping me play a practical joke on Leslie--one that has traveled all over the world and lasted 20 years since we were in college--I really got her good b/c she hasn't even thought about it in 20 years since the joke had become more between our friend Laura and me. That doesn't stop me and I still got her good!!!

So... Andrew is our funny neighbor and he is a joy to know.  He loves jokes.  He still emails us jokes... here is one that is really funny because it is so Ugandan and I bet anyone who lives in the inner city would appreciate the police humor!!  I still can't figure out if they mean "Mr. T" from American pop culture or is it just a name they use...  We miss the Gideon's family!!!

An old farmer wrote 2 his son, Mr.T

in prison.

"This year, I wont b able 2 plant

potatoes cos I can't clear the field,

I know if u were here, u would help

me".

The son, Mr.T wrote back,"Dad,

don't even think of clearing the field

because that's where I buried the

money I stole".

... The Police read the letter & the next

day the whole field was cleared by the

police, looking for the money but

nothing was found.

The following day, the son wrote

again, "Now plant your potatoes Dad..

It's the best I can do from

here".

I miss the way the Ugandans put our two families together--they just scooped us up and we were always invited to dinners together and fellowships.  As we left, we were thanked at several dinners together--here is an example of the hospital gifts to our two families.  Isn't that generous, thoughtful and so tribal?  Very big contrast to the western, more individual nature.

Random thoughts on culture shock and differences in Uganda and the US….

 So, I happen to hear things going around town that you would NEVER hear in Uganda.  An incomplete and short list…

-No, honey, I am sure we have two at home. Don’t buy that, it’s ok.

-You guys have had too much, no more, kids..

-2 older men at the gym track...“Well, Stan, this is my last lap. I have to go”  “Don’t leave me, I have more to say and you are such a good listener!” (In Uganda and really, Africa, your time is not your own and you would give your time to the person in need or who you are talking to)

-(read in a magazine article) "my hobby is keeping up with the latest trends in home decor.  I LOVE seeing what is new and up and coming"

-a grandpa to his kids at Office Depot.."ok, you can choose candy here OR we can go get a donut across the street.  you guys have been good"

A conversation I had with the ER billing--$524 for 20 minutes!!!!  So, I called and said, while I am grateful for the wonderful care, that was a lot of money!!!  I just got back from Uganda and we are not used to paying that much.

Person on the phone-- “Oh, I know, every other country has free health care but the US. “

Me—“oh, no, we just didn’t have an ER, so there was nothing to pay because we didn’t have the service”

Person on the phone—“What do you mean?”

Exacatly.

A thought I had as I did laundry…

Grass fell out of my basket and was all over the clothes—oh, wow, grass on laundry in the US is from a new woven basket, but in Uganda it was from the grass on the ground where people who can’t afford a hanging line put their laundry…

It actually made me happy.

Finally, culture shock is for real.

We were in Old Navy buying some clothes for the kids—I was so excited that there were $8 jeans…I had to leave, so Aaron was going to pay the bill and we would meet back later (yes, the glorious multi tasking—I had to get groceries and yes, it was on a SUNDAY!!!)

That night I saw the price—it was full price.  I was like no way.  So, I took the receipt in the next day, a little hassled b/c why didn’t it just ring up?  To my surprise, there were soccer moms working the morning shift… it’s usually young, care free workers.  Well, they took that receipt over and showed me how the DARK jeans were $8, but right next to them were the ones I got which were not on sale.  With a tight mouth, I said, “that’s pretty nuanced, the jeans were all dark, can’t you just give it to me?”  Fake smiling soccer moms did not give me an inch, but self righteously told me to get the jeans and they could exchange them—had they been worn?,--No, they haven’t.  So, discouraged at the big time waste over a pair of jeans, I became determined to get those $8 jeans and then I was so mad thinking about how hard working Ugandan moms are and they are not doing such silly things…  Well, 20 minutes later, I took the jeans back  and calmly apologized that I didn’t realize the difference of dark and darker jeans… Soccer mom worker asks me if they have been washed (of course they have, I am an efficient processor of goods now!!!)  She humbly said, awww, we can’t take back washed items!!!  Even she felt sorry for me and gave me $5 come back card as I walked out defeated…Well, then as I walked out, there was a young and very thin sick man being assisted from the pharmacy next door.  His car was California license plates and I just lost it, imagining what his story could be and sat in that parking lot and cried and cried for him, for me, for Ugandan moms and soccer moms working at Old Navy and the absurdity of it all.  Can you say culture shock—circuits overloaded with weariness plus a cultural nuance and ignorance and a trigger of a sad situation—all at once.  And people wonder WHY I will not be volunteering for things this year—no way, do you want THAT on your volunteer line?????

Another time we have been shocked was on Micah’s birthday at Celebration Station—we were go-carting  with a predominantly African American group of people—coming from a black culture, it was mild culture shock. It did not compute--black Americans do not act the same as black Africans. That and the busy place of arcades and overpriced putt, putt…whew!

And so it comes and goes when you least expect it—something will just trigger or flashback or not compute.

Funny.

2 more stories on processing—helpful thoughts and hearts have come in strange packages…

Curt, the furniture salesman…

“oh, wow, you just moved back from Uganda?  How long were you there? “

3 years.

“Girl, that’s like dog years, that is amazing.”

I LOVE Curt the furniture salesman.

Maria, the dental hygenist…

“what was the thing you missed most in Uganda?" And then a total stranger listened and laughed with me for a few minutes.  I LOVE Maria, too.

We have found a surprising connection to Uganda in Greensboro.  Micah’s school has several families who have adopted Ugandan children and a principal who lived there for two years.  They even have exchange students from Uganda!  At the girls school, we met a girl at open house who is reading a book about a woman in Uganda. She was in Emma Shae’s class and so excited that Emma Shae lived in Uganda.  In Mallory’s class, she has an African American teacher who is interested in Uganda and several of her friends brag to other people about Mallory being from Uganda. 

We have been so humbled by God’s provision and leading in this time.  We are entering a time of waiting in regards to any future plans on going back overseas, but we have learned to wait with our running shoes on!

Finally, I sign off with a funny quote I read this summer and made a connection coming from a very agricultural society to a modern one...

This is from How the Scots Invented the Modern World by Arthur Herman

quoting Andrew Fletcher in 1703 speaking against Scotland uniting with England

"For what end did God create such vast tracts of land, capable of producing so great a variety and abundance?  Can there be a greater disorder in human affairs, than having human beings jammed together in cities, earning their living by 'the exercise of a sedentary and unmanly trade to foment the luxury of a few?'"

Importance of Being There

In some ways, we haven’t even started processing, but in small, small ways we have.

Thought number one for me about living in Uganda.

It mattered that we went and lived there.

Jesus came from heaven and walked among us—that sure did change eternity.

John tells us in his first chapter…

"14 The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth."

I read 2 books this summer and that was the strong impression for me—it mattered that we went.

The first book was in part about when Jackie Kennedy was a young college girl right after WWII and went for a year to France on a school exchange program.  This thought by the author really resonated with me…

“In the affectionate relationship of Jacqueline Bouvier with the comtesse de Renty and her daughter, as in Henriette Nizan’s perception of the young Americans in their intense enjoyment of Paris, there was something more than fun, something deeply therapeutic at work.  It was not the kind of recovery the architects of The Marshall Plan had in mind, a recovery made of the loan of goods and services; instead it was made of the pleasure and relief for these survivors of war in serving once again as a model for a joyous way of life.”

The second book was by Henri Nouwen called The Way of the Heart.

“Let us not underestimate how hard it is to be compassionate.  Compassion is hard because it requires the inner disposition to with others to the place where they are weak, vulnerable, lonely and broken.  But this is not our spontaneous response to suffering.  What we desire most is to do away with suffering by felling from it or finding a quick cure for it.  As busy, active, relevant ministers, we want to earn our bread by making a real contribution.  This means first and foremost doing something to show that our presence makes a difference.  And so we ignore our greatest gift, which is our ability to enter into solidarity with those who suffer.

Which leads me to my next thought on returning.  I have been so thoughtful about narrative as we have left one culture expressing a narrative very different than our home and more familiar culture.  Some of my favorite and most influential people in my own life are great lovers of people and their stories.  So, I have been so thoughtful of how important narrative is—my own and honoring and listening to others.

During our time of intense transition this summer, I found Woody Guthrie—and I cried through many of his songs—it was so healing.  I have to go back to the Great Depression in the US to find the flavor and amount of suffering that we experienced living in Uganda—actually that we walked along side THOSE WHO experienced that degree of suffering.  He writes this one song that kills me every time and I think it’s because I wish I could say, did you hear of Precious and Deus, Johnson and Dorcus, Jovahn and Penelope, Sam and Agatha, Raf and Gitta Grace and Medard who lost babies and every other person we came across during our time in Kabale…. Narrative is important and I hope I can grow as a listener and also being in touch with how my own family’s narrative is being shaped and allowed to grow.

So, let me end with the words of Woody…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ICy5P1pKy5A - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ICy5P1pKy5A

The Sinking Of The Reuben James

Words and Music by Woody Guthrie

Have you heard of a ship called the good Reuben James
Manned by hard fighting men both of honor and fame?
She flew the Stars and Stripes of the land of the free
But tonight she's in her grave at the bottom of the sea.

Tell me what were their names, tell me what were their names,
Did you have a friend on the good Reuben James?
What were their names, tell me, what were their names?
Did you have a friend on the good Reuben James

Well, a hundred men went down in that dark watery grave
When that good ship went down only forty-four were saved.
'Twas the last day of October we saved the forty-four
From the cold ocean waters and the cold icy shore.

It was there in the dark of that uncertain night
That we watched for the U-boats and waited for a fight.
Then a whine and a rock and a great explosion roared
And they laid the Reuben James on that cold ocean floor.

Now tonight there are lights in our country so bright
In the farms and in the cities they're telling of the fight.
And now our mighty battleships will steam the bounding main
And remember the name of that good Reuben James.

Greetings

In Uganda greetings are very important as is welcoming guests.  It is a very warm and friendly place and people always have time for you.

If you go to someone's house, they will say, "You are welcome." or "You are most welcome."  When you go and return, our staff will say "Welcome back" and when you leave, they will say "Safe journey"

If you meet someone, a usual exchange is this

How are you?
Praise the Lord! (If they are Christians)
How is your family?
How is home?
How was the night?
Where are you coming from?
Where are you going to?

If someone gives you a ride or vice versa, they might say "Can we move together?"

At different times men who are friends hold hands as they walk along.  It's very endearing and encouraging.

Several times I have been walking up the steep path to our house and a woman has offered to help me with the bags I am carrying.  That is super endearing knowing how hard people work!

As a white person in a predominantly black population, I get a lot of attention.  We get called to a lot- "muzungu!" or "amuzungu!!!".  That is not encouraging or endearing :).

Once, I was on the main road at the junction that goes to Rwanda.  A guy called to me several times, "Hey, black man!"  "Hey, you, black man!"  I thought at first he was offering himself or calling to someone else, but it became clear he was calling me black man.  I did like that.

Another time, I was on a walk and practicing my Rukiga.  I did notice that people, especially children really responded to greetings in Rukiga.  The expression on children's faces are great, b/c sometimes I wonder if they really see me or just some kind of apparition that might give them money or a sweet.  When I would great them in the local language, a light would go off in their eyes, like, "oh, you are a person?"

Well, on one occasion, a girl asked me in English after I greeted her in Rukiga, "Are you a muzungu (white person) or a mukiga (local tribe)?"  That was funny.

They always say in Africa, you are not alone.  That is true.

Dealing with Disappointment

This has been brewing for me since Easter last year.  I have thought a lot about disappointment over the years and I really entered in to it last Easter.

It’s so key to so many things—how you handle disappointment—I don’t know how you see it, but for me disappointment clouds relationships, faith, hope, drive and so on. 

I gave my life to Christ in 1993 and almost immediately was drawn to cross cultural living—I felt that all my life, I have been made to live in another culture.  I was drawn to the foreign exchange students in school and growing up in Houston, I had lots of access to international foods, people and goods and I always was drawn to them.  I studied French and was passionate about the all the extra curricular activities surrounding the foreign language clubs!  I even chose cultural anthropology and African American studies for my degree at university.

So, when I met Jesus and found out about the Great Commission and God’s heart for the whole world, I knew I was supposed to be a missionary.  In the same year, I came to faith, was baptized and went to Urbana, the student missions conference. I devoured missionary biographies and was drawn to serving internationally in any capacity.

I could go on, but you get the picture.  20 years, 1 husband, 3 children and a score of short term experiences later, I finally land in Uganda for at least 3 years, if not more.  To my surprise and disappointment, being a missionary is not ANYTHING I thought it would be.  It is so tiring, confusing and I have never felt so un-Christian in my whole life.  I spend a lot of time being grumpy and admittedly feeling sorry for myself—is there any job harder than being a missionary mama?  (yes, I think, refugee mama…)  I spend a lot of my time telling people no and to go away.  Wow, where is the sharing life together and I have my hoe and we are digging and sharing cross culturally???  Language lessons failed and the timeline has not worked out ANYTHING like I thought.  I thought things would be linear and growth and change would be evident and I would be fluent in Rukiga and loving and dancing and just everything Ugandan.

 Well, it turns out I am totally American—sound bite and scheduled living do not prosper in a place where greetings alone are 10 minutes, parties and church services are typically 3-7 hours, late and people tell long and detailed stories.  It’s a pretty formal place, but so welcoming to visitors and especially foreigners and somehow they always know I don’t come from here, so we are put in the front a lot and given lots of special attention, which honestly is draining and awkward.  I thought we could just blend in and listen and learn.  Rather we are expected to be the expert and patron of many projects and dreams…

Finally, the daily strain of living with lots of physical work and so many interruptions from kids, to neighbors and visitors leaves almost no margins, time to reflect or time to really engage with … anyone.  That was a big surprise and disappointment.

Of course, other, unexpected gifts have come and there are so many precious treasures and nuggets from living in Uganda, BUT this blog is about disappointment, so I will not linger on the positive!

So, Easter 2012.  Finding Christ in my disappointments.  Why do I still follow after these years when Jesus or this life of faith doesn’t always meet my expectations?  We have friends who have fallen away completely or have gone the way of the Christian atheist or the polite with God way, keep him at a distance, but still going through the motions.  How do people in the Bible respond when God doesn’t meet their expectations or answer their prayers how they thought it should be answered.

What would I say?

Sarah, Abraham’s wife was barren until her 90’s “Really, Lord? Now, I get a baby?”

But God has eternity in mind and with Abraham and Sarah and through them launched the promise of eternity and to be with the people FOREVER.  And He is.

What about the Lord’s parents—a time of joyful engagement and God interrupts with the announcement that Mary is chosen to bear Jesus and Joseph gets to be the step father.  “Lord, I was REALLY looking forward to being married.  To a party. To the wedding.” “But Lord, the shame.”  I think I would wrestle with disappointment!  But God has eternity in mind and gave Himself so we could be with Him FOREVER.

So often the disciples were met with unfulfilled expectations and disappointments.  Even John the Baptist asked the Lord, is it you or should we expect another?   Even Jesus met disappointment when his followers did not get things, when the people wouldn’t believe and at one point right before He died, He laments about Jerusalem and how He longed for them like a hen and her chicks.  I once was watching the gathering of Revivalists outside my gate—I wasn’t able to go to the meetings b/c of sick family and they were in Rukiga anyway and I was feeling like such an outsider and having so much love and not able to engage in a culture and the Holy Spirit spoke those words to me "Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you were not willing" and I was surprised as I had not thought of the disappointment of Jesus—I think I always thought he was frustrated… 

What I am finding since last year is that I am meeting the suffering Christ. Psalm 22, the story of the Cross and the wrestle with faith like John the Baptist have taken on a deeper meaning.  John Thurlow sings a song that has ministered to me so much, so I end on this note.  Thurlow sings over and over, “Blessed is he is who is not offended in me” I am not offended in Christ and He has given Himself and I do find Him enough—finally, I can say that.  He IS enough.

John the Baptist

Sharing life together

December, January and February have been full of sharing life together!  In December we went with our teammates, the Hines to visit our friends and their neighbors, the Gideons.  Gideon, Esther and their 4 children, Stephen, Winifred, Andrew and Grace hosted us very well!  Their family lives in Kabale with us, but they are from Kisoro and maintain family and ties to this beautiful border town.

Pit stop welcome on the way to Kisoro.  can you see the wave?

Congo Refugee camp--Kisoro borders the Congo and Rwanda

Grace, Esther, Gideon, Wendy, Aaron and friend

At Gideon's mother--a sweet visit and time of prayer.

Winifred and Wendy

Climbing a crater--this area is forged by volcanoes!

Dinner prep

Andrew led us on a hike at a nearby lake.

At the end, they surprised us with a cake to honor our friendship!

We rang in the new year in Kampala, welcoming friends from the U.S.  The Griggs family.  We spent 2 days in the city and then hit the road.  We briefly visited mutual friends in Northern Uganda, visited Murchison Falls National Park and then ended our time in Kabale.  Dr. Griggs worked with Aaron and taught at the hospital and Erin and I shared life together in Kabale.  It was lovely!

The orphans were largely on school break, but here are some Cessnun kids with ours and some new arrivals.

Anna, Emma Shae, Sarah, Julia, Mallory

Touring with Dr. Cessnun--treatment and supply room.

Brian (our driver) with Jackson sort out an oil leak.  Bubblegum to the rescue!

Boat tour at the Falls

Jackson with Elliot

Charging elephant, I don't like these, I have discovered.

Do love the gentle herds-amazing

Driver going to get the spare tire fixed--3rd of the trip!

Lots of baboons in the trees, which was new for us--usually see them on the ground

Julia and Elliot running to our house in the mornings.

Cereal!

Jackson and Aaron at the hospital

Aaron giving Erin a tour at the hospital

Mallory and Emma Shae share Tafti with Julia

Morrows and Griggs visiting the Hines!

In February, our team hosted Canon Henry, the Ugandan Global Teams Area Coordinator.  He brought his lovely family, Christine and their two children Enoch and Faith.  It was a great time of sharing, praying and visiting.  Canon Henry and his family along with Travis and I were able to visit the Kigezi Baptist group's missionary.

Rainy day construction drive....

Elius, Johnson and Sam and the gang

A welcome by Anderson, Primrose translating

Great time of singing

Meeting some neighbors

Canon Henry sharing about Global Teams and encouraging the group.

A surprise feast--Bakiga hospitality and Mama can cook!!!

Travis and Primrose sharing

A prayer and blessing given by Wendy

The day's fellowship!

First day of school--the big P7.  School in Uganda begins in February

Mallory and Emma Shae homeschooling wonders!